Netflix & Chill: Celebrity Edition

An open letter from me, Robbie, the writer.

From January/February I was a member of a podcast that talked solely about cinema. One of the best episodes we ever did, one of the the most talked about episodes was the Netflix & Chill segment where we came up with a list of celebrities we’d woo in a millennial manner. I did more research for that episode than any other time I got behind the mic (current podcast excluded). So this is a list of celebrities I’d like to watch 15 minutes of a movie with and then...well, whatever. Secondary note: Before my current girlfriend, I had a thing for older women, hence most of the choices on this list. Third: This was just my outline. I expounded more on the choices I made whilst on the air. Was it crass? Absolutely. Is this an unnecessary list? Also yes. But did I write it with malicious intent and a goal of objectifying these particular actors? HA! No. It was just for funsies. You should also ask yourself, ‘Why did he chose *those* movies? I would tell you exactly why, but right now, this open letter is longer than the article itself, so it’s time to shut up. Every donation helps. Thanks.
— Robbie Clark, 10/23/18, 8:00PM

Olivia Wilde

  • Notable Roles: In Time, Bojack Horseman, Drinking Buddies, Rush, House

  • Won a pancake eating competition in Australia, impromptu brownie eating contest with Chris Farley at age 10, professional last name from Oscar Wilde, engaged to Jason Sudekis

  • Movie We’d Watch:  Sausage Party (2016)

Helen Mirren

  • Notable Roles: Red, Gosford Park, A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Titania (1981, TV Movie); Hermia (1968)), Hamlet (Ophelia/Gertrude), Caligula (Caesonia)

  • Fluent in french, tattoo of a star on her left hand, “It’s the creme de la creme of bullshit” (About the Academy Awards)

  • Movie We’d Watch: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Morgan Fairchild

  • Notable Roles:  Chandler Bing’s mom, Naked Gun 33 1/3, The Seduction, Holy Man

  • Self professed Paleontologist geek

  • Movie We’d Watch: We’re Back (1993)

Catherine Keener & Mary Steenburgen (They’re not the same person, and I know that)

  • Notable Roles: 40 Year Old Virgin, Death To Smoochy, Hamlet 2, Captain Phillips, Back To The Future III, Step Brothers, Last Vegas, Justified, The Last Man On Earth

  • Prefers being a supporting actress, had a DUI hearing the day she got nominated for an award, discovered by Jack Nicholson, Next Door neighbor of Steve Martin

  • Movie We’d Watch: Hot Rod (2007)

Gillian Anderson

  • Notable Roles: X Files, How To Lose Friends And Alienate People, War & Peace, Hannibal

  • Voted “Class Clown” and “Most Bizarre” in high-school, 50 most beautiful in 1997, “I’m more spontaneous than my character” (About her portrayal of Agent Scully)

  • Movie We’d Watch: The Hocus Pocus (1993) Drinking Game

  • Bonus: We’ll do it doggy style so we can both watch X Files (Hi unsuspecting hit from 1999!)

Christie Brinkley

  • Notable Roles: Parks & Rec, National Lampoon’s Vacation (girl in Ferrari), Jack and Jill

  • Married four times since 1973, first model to appear on 3 consecutive Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues (’79, ’80, ’81), vegetarian

  • Movie We’d Watch: Sleepless In Seattle (1993)

Jamie Alexander

  • Notable Roles: Thor, Blindspot, The Last Stand

  • Grew up in Grapevine (Texas), was on her high-school wrestling team, on Maxim’s Hot 100 list in 2014

  • Movie We’d Watch: Wayne’s World (1992)

Mary McDonnell

  • Notable Roles: Independence Day, Donnie Darko, Battlestar Galactica, Dances With Wolves

  • Competitive and synchronized swimmer as a child

  • Movie We’d Watch: The Cutting Edge (1992)

Honorable Mentions:

Virginia Madsen Jennifer Connelly

Christina Hendricks Shelley Long

Felicia Day Bonnie Hunt

Demi Moore Sally Field

Susan Sarandon Sharon Stone

Ginger & Baby Spice Michelle Pfeiffer

Dolly Parton Sigourney Weaver

Peri Gilpin Joan Allen

Lonnie Anderson Ellen Barkin

Caroline Rhea Goldie Hawn

Katy Sagal Rene Russo

Jane Seymour

Robbie Clark